Friday, November 19, 2010

8 Likely Facebook-MySpace Partnership Announcements That I Just Made Up

8 Likely Facebook-MySpace Partnership Announcements That I Just Made Up:

Facebook and MySpace have called a web-presser later today to make a surprise joint announcement that has many Internet insiders scratching their heads.

We could just wait a few hours to find out what this is all about, but there are a lot of page views in pointless speculation, and since a few of my extreme rock-climbing buds happen to be major players behind the scenes of this deal, here are 8 scenarios I just made up that might explain who is eating who’s lunch, and what the rival social networks will probably announce later.

1. MySpace and Facebook have made a bilateral agreement to TAKE FRIENDSTER DOWN.

2. Facebook will announce that they have officially bought the rights to fill in the blank of My_____’s new logo with: “FriendsAreAllOnFacebook”.

3. Facebook’s new Non-Email Email Thingy will offer users the option to Blingee their Messages, which will be powered by MySpace.

4. MySpace is actually just going to become a Farmville-like game within Facebook where players will do their best to build a successful social network without running it into the ground via bad business partnerships and Hollywood excess.

5. Facebook will suggest that MySpace become a fan of not being such a digital landfill for human garbage. MySpace will then ‘poke’ Facebook because they have no idea how the Internet works.

6. Facebook will shock the world by handing over control of their company to MySpace, followed shortly by MySpace posting a bulletin about the time they saw Facebook murder someone.

7. The two networks felt it necessary to use their combined reach and influence to make sure everyone hears the unforgettable news about the The Beatles’ music finally being available on the Internet!

8. There is no actual announcement. This presser is just an elaborately orchestrated opportunity for Facebook representatives to berate and degrade the submissive MySpace delegates in a humiliating display of public dominance.

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